Revlations

you get the toned down version ;)

I see who I am and I see what I am capable of. I have a much better mindset now and I am truly happy with myself alone. I'm confident in the important decisions I make and I know what I believe and believe what I know. I'm tired of all of these predetermined ideas about people and all of their fronts. Everyone fronts, lies, and gives false ideas in pitiful attempts to impress one another. High School.

No matter how things were in the past and how close people were, situations, feelings, and people all change. Friends become enemies and enemies become friends and when you throw significant others into it, all hell breaks loose. We can only hope that we truly do have some people who are there for us and care about us, despite everything on the surface. Being friends is more than hanging out, and I know who mine are. I couldn't be happier.

I have come to the conclusion that although this place has been an incredibly wonderful place to live and grow up(for me at least) I intend to leave it as soon as possible. Although it alone has shaped me to be who I am, seeing as it has been my only permanent environment since birth, there is nothing more for me here. There is no one new to meet, and those who we have met, we met years ago. I need to be thrown into a new environment with new people where I can make new friendships/relationships and test my personality. We have been stuck with the same people for years and everyone forms their cliques and social hierarchies, but who decides it all. I guarantee you that in another environment, shit would be flipped upside down.

I guess I'm just finally documenting how I've been feeling lately. These thoughts fill my mind and I usually have no way to record them, so this is it. This is just a way to vent and clarify to myself my ideas

I'm happy, confident, and discontent. What more could a teenager ask for?

Thanksgiving

sums up my family this year haha. Let's just say we are all products of our environments and I'm realizing that I am not alone.

On another note, I can assure you this summer will bring change, and right now that sounds pretty good.

floating through life right now. school is for the uneducated ;)

havent been doing much of anything latley. started working on the golf again. moving along pretty quickly. re-inspired.

sf state? i've decided that i need to find myself before i can decide on a career. going straight to a uc would be a waste of money and experiences. either going to state for 2 years and transferring or doing the same with a community college.

there are no people to meet -_- although losing many people i know will suck when college comes, the new ones i meet will surely appease my heartbreak ha ha ha



always left unsatisfied